Lockdown

We've spent the last two years

couped up, going crazy.

Safety was the only word!

protection 

security

community

looking out for our loved ones.

I'm reminded of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs

and the pyramid of human behaviour.

In one way there has been a devolution of the human species

and we are relegated to the lower rungs of psychological safety

and home security.

Look a little closer though and cherrypick the rung

Family is there, a tick for love

Respect for others and self

In todays world thats been both present

and remarkably absent.

Hell that's not a pandemic issue

that's a human issue.

Try getting higher up that pyramid and you'll run into 

a glass ceiling.

The great leveller a pandemic

has destroyed the jobs and worth of talented

denied people ability to help themselves 

and others.

charity

who has time for that

its now every man or premier for themselves.

(missed your loved ones?)

and now to top it off

we have a war.

no end in sight

madmen in control.

but wait there's now a mosquito virus

that infects peoples brain

and they die in their sleep.

No cure.

what next?

no internet?

god forbid.

end of the world.

good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

There's a common thread

amongst many people.

Climate change is upon us,

and it's someone else's fault.

Ive been shopping recently

and I want to scream at the walls

or to the person standing next to me

the human race is finished.

sneakers

shirts

chocolate

whitegoods.

Greta told us not to use straws

and we ordered a billion rat tests

all plastic

all thrown away.

everybody has a new phone

a new car

orders uber eats

gets an amazon delivery.

go on  I dare you

say we aren't all to blame

say its not our fault

say they can fix this.

I was in hawaii many years ago

at a supermarket buying fresh fruit and avocados for breakfast

whilst my american friends guzzled coke and doughnuts 

with a litre of milk and sugar at 8am.

the checkout guy

said "do you want to donate a dollar to the heart foundation"

I said "no way"

"you got yourselves into this shit, get yourselves out"

We did didn't we!

somethings not right

 

Years ago at a fancy school 

I studied three unit art

and Edvard Munch perplexed me

Madness, . . . I just didn't get it.

Three decades later 

like a guy a little slow on the uptake

In the worst year for everybody

Somethings not right.

My wife called me this morning

Our 6 year old had gone missing from the front of the house

she was hysterical, couldn't find him anywhere.

Daniel Morecomb, Samantha Knight, William Tyrell, Madeline McCann.

She called me 5 minutes later

he has playing hide and seek, 

and despite the increasing hysteria in her calls

he didn't get it.

My heart was pounding

for 30 minutes after

in the blink of an eye

anything can be taken from you.

What can you lose and never get again

innocence.

what else?

Life.

A friend died saturday.

A beautiful man, funny, smart and successful

Brain tumour.

Life isn't fair.

And its random

As I say we are often our own worst enemy

unless you have a date with fate.

 Hint, don't schedule that in.

In my deepest darkest moments 

I'm reminded of the last stanza

Of a hopkins poem

at that fancy school I attended

"As the lights of the dark west went

Oh morning at the brown brink eastward springs

for the holy ghost over the bent world broods

with a warm heart and bright wings."

Hope does spring eternal eh?

distraction

Its the end of a big year

its been real rough

its not over

almost

lost my work

lost my son

lost my mind

and I still find that

I'm easily distracted

easily led and

often inefficient

I was amazed

when I stopped work for a while

that there was so much to do

everywhere

how the hell

did I have any time to go to work in the first place?

and how in the hell do people who work

get anything done?

all the time in the world I have now

I lie in bed and look at the ceiling

peeling

put that on my list (did it)

I know what the answer is

meditation

just gotta make it a habit

unconscious.

before the day begins and

the distraction

takes over.

oh and exercise

if you can be bothered

and have had enough sleep.

so many rules.

Grief

I had the misery and fortune to attend a funeral today

and learn of a life lost early

to a chance accident

by an angry planet.

A young man

so funny

so full of life

was taken so soon.

I wept

everybody wept

 whilst the religious ceremony

talked endlessly of god.

I was angry

where was this god

who could allow such a heinous act

what a concept.

Its not enough when somebody is 14 

to say they died doing what they loved.

All that matters is they are not here

and there's nothing to fill the void.

So Alexi

you were loved by the people who knew you

and those that didn't.

and our hearts are broken.

Everybody who is a parent today

realised their worst nightmare

If you can please just simply

love those who are with you.

you never know when you or they

will be gone.

travelling

Taking off on a rainy Wednesday

I had a window seat

looking across the bay 

I saw an unrecognisable coast.

The fog rendered the known unknown.

Landmarks lost in the haze

We could have been anywhere.

The minute the plane left the earth 

the real world became a plaything

Another aircraft on the runway

a kids toy I could reach down and fly

Then we burst through the cloud layer 

into another reality of sunshine and blue sky.

The clouds were endless

another geography to marvel.

Reality is only perception

Scale is everything.

semantics

Its friday night

I listen to MOLOKO

read BUKOWSKI

and MAILER

whilst I watch the wife glaze.

I'm struck with three things

the present and future tense

I read and in the past I read.

nobody does it anymore

and we worry about irrelevance

of ourselves

of our lives

of our thoughts

often at 4am

perhaps its just me

but does anybody

get the idea

the world has turned

against us?

so many experts

selling trite answers 

to universal problems

and yet

its nothing new.

Norman writes about the fight

ALI against FOREMAN

40 years ago in Zaire

the rumble in the jungle

the human condition.

Charles writes about being a drunk

looking at people

struggling to survive 

70 years ago,

the human condition.

and really

in the fifth line

should it be 

whilst

or while?

semantics.