the art of referral

lets talk about the process of relieving peoples pain

the first thing they have to do is turn up

then you identify the problem

then you treat the patient.

sometimes its not so easy to work out

why they are in pain.

often there could be three or four causes

not so straightforward it seems.

and then there's actually doing the top notch job

people turn up late which cuts your time

to do the job properly.

they cough, fidget, gag and squirm.

now I know its not easy to be the patient

you don't like injections

its invasive 

and the mouth doesn't stretch that far

but from the other side

it ain't easy either

and occasionally, 

its impossible

and that's why god invented specialists.

I don't really believe in god

but I do the referral system

and when you can't do a great job

refer to someone who can.

you make less money

but you do get to 

sleep at night.

backdoor capitalism

another american express bill

another $5000

and this time

I actually read it when it turned up

out of 58 charges

50 were from i tunes

little amounts

all adding up to $700

now I like apple tv as much as the next bloke

and I dont mind an occasional download

but 50 separate transactions over 20 days.

c'mon. time to investigate

you know those free games, the ones for 99c

the simple fun things you can put on the

ipod, ipad, iphone.

news flash! all is not what it seems

all apple devices come with a little setting turned on

the old " in app purchases" switch

hidden of course behind 5 screens.

if you dont turn it off, 

you dont need your itunes password to purchase

whatever they are trying to sell you.

new updated game..

more hairspray for your salon

another fun car in the racing game

or whatever

sneaky, underhanded, disgusting

and i'm sure not entirely legal.

what kid connects playing on the phone with spending money

and why are all the default settings on, not off?

I wonder what else they aren't telling us?

the greatest con of the last 200 years

umbrellas

lets face it they never work.

the wind blows and they are covered under the

2 for 1 warranty

they last for 2 minutes then you need a new one.

weak, structurally unsound in wind over a dog fart

they are the lemons of the industrial design world.

and miraculously when it rains they multiply

sold in every corner store, cheap and waiting

on the edge of that metaphorical cliff

like lemmings following one another

to the closest bin

where they can rest with each other.

living in a dry country

they spend more time inside anyway, warm a safe and shut.

outside they spend more time inside out.

a slight breeze and thats it, get a new one

unless you believe the hype

and whats the matter with water anyway

generally people run from the car to a house

enclosed and protected .

people pay for hydrating spray.

go on get out there and turn your face to the sky.

feel the drops from the heavens

run round in your underpants

have fun and remember 

kids dont use them.

clarity

life

its all a matter of perspective

every event presents a choice

you can accept whats going on

or fight against it

how did we learn this?

when did it begin?

and in the end

whats the right way to deal with it

right now i'm in a funny mood

not because its 4am

although sunday should be a 

sleep in

a kind of acceptance

of life, of love

and of age

has crept over me.

work hard

play hard

get lots of sleep

and dont worry about the small stuff.

who needs self help manuals

you just need a little

clarity.